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We’ve all encountered toxic people who spread their negativity. Sometimes their poison dust is more like a light touch, other times it feels overwhelming. Difficult people often target those who are reasonable and dust them with their poison. Inevitably, most of us have had someone in our lives who makes us twist ourselves in knots trying to please them, yet we never succeed.
Their harm is subtle and makes you think, “It’s not them, it’s me.” They make you questioning yourself, feeling like you’re overreacting, being too sensitive, or misunderstanding things. If you’re the one always getting hurt or always changing your behaviour to avoid being hurt, it’s likely not you, but them.
The first step in lessening their influence is being able to recognize their harmful behaviour. While you may not be able to stop them from doing what they do, you can control how you respond to it and any thoughts that toxic people in your life may have about getting away with their actions.
12 Things They Do and How to Deal with Them
Toxic people exhibit certain behaviours that can be harmful to others; or manipulate people and situations to their advantage. While everyone can have a bad day or a difficult phase, toxic individuals consistently display negative patterns that affect (anxious) those around them. Here are some common criteria that characterize toxic people:
- Manipulative Behaviour:
– Gaslighting: Making others question their reality or sanity.
– Guilt-Tripping: Using guilt to control or manipulate others.
– Playing the Victim: Always presenting themselves as the victim to gain sympathy and avoid responsibility.
- Lack of Empathy:
- Insensitive: Unconcerned with how their actions affect others.
- Self-Centred: Prioritizing their own needs and desires over others’.
- Emotionally Detached: Unable or unwilling to understand or share the feelings of others.
- Constant Negativity:
- Pessimism: Always seeing the negative side of situations.
- Complaining: Frequently expressing dissatisfaction or grievances.
- Cynicism: Distrusting others’ motives and being overly critical.
- Dishonesty:
- Lying: Frequently lying or omitting the truth.
- Deception: Intentionally misleading others for personal gain.
- Broken Promises: Regularly failing to keep commitments or promises.
- controlling Nature:
- Domineering: Trying to control or dominate conversations and decisions.
- Possessive: Being overly controlling in relationships, not allowing others independence.
- Micromanaging: Interfering in others’ tasks and decisions unnecessarily.
- Blaming Others:
- Avoiding Responsibility: Refusing to take responsibility for their actions or mistakes.
- Scapegoating: Placing blame on others for their own failures or problems.
- Deflecting Criticism: Unable to accept constructive criticism and shifting blame instead.
- Jealousy and Envy:
- Resentful: Resenting others’ successes or happiness.
- Competitive: Always trying to outdo others and feel superior.
- Sabotaging: Undermining others’ efforts out of jealousy.
- Excessive Drama:
- Creating Conflict: Frequently instigating or escalating conflicts.
- Overreacting: Having disproportionate reactions to minor issues.
- Thriving on Chaos: Seeming to enjoy the drama and turmoil.
- Disrespect and Rudeness:
- Inconsiderate: Frequently showing a lack of respect for others’ time, space, and boundaries.
- Rude Behaviour: Being consistently rude, insulting, or offensive.
- Dismissive: Ignoring or belittling others’ opinions and feelings.
- Lack of Accountability:
- Denial: Refusing to acknowledge their own toxic behaviour.
- Justifying: Making excuses for their actions rather than correcting them.
- Defensiveness: Reacting defensively to feedback instead of reflecting on it.
- Isolation Tactics:
- Alienating Others: Creating divisions between people to control relationships.
- Monopolizing Time: Demanding excessive time and attention, isolating others from their support networks.
- Spreading Rumors: Engaging in gossip or spreading false information to manipulate perceptions.
- Inconsistent Behaviour:
- In predictable: Having erratic moods or behaviours that keep others on edge.
- Two-Faced: Being kind and pleasant in one moment and hostile the next.
- Unreliable: Frequently changing their stance or opinions to suit their needs.
Recognizing these traits can help you identify toxic individuals and take steps to protect yourself from their harmful influence.